Choices Made
by Five Foot Fury
Summary: Roy has built a life for himself with a wife and a son, but has he made the right choice? And what happens when he starts second-guessing himself?
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: This takes place before the Promised Day but after Edward becomes a State Alchemist. Though it should be noted that this wouldn't follow the original story in Fullmetal Alchemist quite well.**

 **This story is heavily based on a dream I had and I'm not quite sure how to end it yet. Enjoy.**

 **...**

It was a cold, snowy winter night. An announcement was made on the radio, saying it would be best to stay inside due to a lot of heavy snow and gusts of wind being reported. Roy smiled a bit as the announcement ended and a song started up. He would certainly be cozy tonight in his bed. He took a sip of the excellent liquor his wife had gotten him and shot her a sexy smile since she was next to him on the couch, her feet resting on his lap. She smiled back. Their two year old son, Riley, had been put to bed awhile ago, so she was apparently thinking the same as him. Her feet wriggled in his lap a bit as if getting more comfortable, when there was a knock on the door. Roy frowned.

"Don't get up. I'll get it." She said and went to see who it was. Roy stayed where he was, listening as the door opened. He heard his wife gasp. "Oh, you look frozen! Come on inside."

"S-sorry to intrude." A familiar voice replied as the door closed. Roy abruptly set his glass down and hurried to the door. He came to a halt when he saw her. Hawkeye was in her military uniform and wore her black coat, yet despite this, she was shivering. Snow coated her clothes and hair, her cheeks pink from being out in the cold.

"Oh, Roy." Amy said. "She was actually trying to walk home in this weather. Can you believe it?"

"I just need some shelter for a bit until this wind dies down." Hawkeye told them, but Amy absolutely refused that she go back out there. She knew Hawkeye worked hard at the office, often staying late, helping Roy with his paperwork so he could be home at a decent hour. "You should spend the night here at least. This snowstorm should be gone by tomorrow morning. Come on, we have a spare room, you can use that." Amy told her, leading her away. Roy watched the two go, surprisingly quiet. This was the first time in a long time that he has seen her outside of work. It was strange to suddenly have her here at his house. Almost surreal. Amy came back downstairs, alone. "You okay?" She asked him. "You're alright with her staying the night, aren't you?"

Pulled back from his thoughts, Roy gave his head a small shake. "No, its fine. You're right, she shouldn't be out there. If she got sick, I would be stuck at work for far longer." He joked a little.

Amy elbowed him. "I know you're a little upset, Roy. And I know why too."

 _No you don't. Not really._ Roy thought, but said nothing.

"There's always tomorrow night." She added with a wink. "She said she wasn't hungry, but I'm going to go ahead and make her some soup. She could use something to help warm her up, she's shivering so much." Amy said as she walked into the kitchen. Roy managed a smile.

Ever since Riley's birth, Amy has really shown much more of her kind and caring side than usual. Unsure of what to do with himself, he decided to go upstairs to check on Hawkeye. It seemed rather rude of him to not have so much as said anything to her when she came in, considering all the work she does for him and the fact that she was staying in his house. Roy opened the door to the spare bedroom to find Hawkeye undressing, her back to him as she took off her black turtleneck. The rest of her was bare aside from her underwear. Its been a few years, but she still looked as young and sexy as he had imagined.

The panties she wore were a red, almost shiny color. _Like gift wrap._ He couldn't see all of the top part of her underwear with her back to him, but he could tell it matched the bottom in color. It also appeared to be a cross between a shirt and a corset or something. It wasn't a bra because it covered most of her back and there was a thin, white ribbon laced through it and tied up. Roy quickly turned his own back to her at the sight. _Why is she wearing that?! Did she plan this?! Is she purposefully torturing me like this?!_ That was all ridiculous of course. He had only happened to walk in on her.

"Amy? I-I'm s-sorry, my clothes are c-clogged with all that s-snow. They-they're ice cold."

"Don't worry about it Lieutenant, I'll have Amy find something for you." He was surprised by how calm his voice was as he closed the door. He didn't see Hawkeye spin around, her eyes wide. Roy walked over to the master bedroom door and took a moment a moment to try to compose himself. He had been able to stop his fantasies of Hawkeye a couple of years ago, but after seeing that, he'd have to fight to keep them away again. _I can be with Amy. Its not illegal. No one's career is at risk. She's almost like Hawkeye, except better, cause its legal to be with her._ He repeated the old mantra he had told himself many times before when he had dated Amy, except this one now had more to it. _She's my wife now. I chose her. We have a son even. I can't change anything. It would hurt them too much._ Roy headed downstairs and went into the kitchen a little later, feeling less shaken so he knew Amy wouldn't be able to tell. "Lt. Hawkeye told me her clothes are all clogged with snow and that she wanted to change out of them. Do you think you might have something she could use?" He asked her.

Amy grimaced a bit. "Not really... not anything that'd fit her. She's a little more taller than me... Oh! I know, she could use my bathrobe." Amy took the soup off the stove and poured it into a bowl. "I'll go get it for her right now." She set the bowl on the kitchen table, then went upstairs. Roy sat down with a sigh. _Just one night. That's all she's staying for. Then that's it. I forget all about this night and we go back to only seeing each other at work._

...

Amy knocked on the door to Hawkeye's room. "Roy told me you wanted to change. I'm sorry, this is all I have that'll fit you." She cracked open the door and reached her hand in. She felt Hawkeye take the robe from her. "Thank you Amy. I really am sorry for causing such a fuss."

"Don't worry about it." Amy told her. "When you're done, come on down. I made you some soup. I'll find a place to put your clothes to dry out." The door opened more and Hawkeye stood dressed in the robe.

"You didn't have to do that."

"Its the least I could for you after all you do for my husband." Amy said with a wave of her hand. She went in and collected Hawkeye's clothes, but Hawkeye, feeling guilty, insisted upon helping.

...

The two went downstairs to the kitchen not much later and Roy sat up straight as they came to the table. "What do you think?" Amy asked after Hawkeye had had a few sips.

"Its very good Mrs. Mustang. Thank you."

Roy stiffened. Was that a trace of jealousy in her tone? Amy smiled and said something, but Roy didn't catch what was said. He was carefully studying Hawkeye, but she gave nothing away.

"I'm going to go ahead and go to bed. Riley might wake up early again tomorrow. Clean up, okay?" Amy told Roy as she got up. Roy grunted in confirmation and she smiled and gave him a quick kiss, before leaving the room. Roy realized too late that he should've glanced at Hawkeye to judge her feelings on the kiss. _No! What am I thinking? It doesn't matter if she cares or not. I have a wife. I have-_ "You have a very nice family, sir."

Pulled out of his thoughts, Roy quickly looked at Hawkeye, but she was already back to sipping her soup, her gaze avoiding his. He forced a laugh, feeling awkward. "You haven't met Riley yet. He can be a troublemaker."

"How old is he now?"

"Two years old."

Hawkeye let out the softest of sighs and Roy detected the sadness there that no one else could have noticed. "Its hard to believe so much time has passed and yet I still have yet to even see your son." There was no mistaking her sadness now. Anyone could've been able to tell how depressed she was. Roy felt his heart twist in pain.

"You've been busy Lieutenant. You've been doing all this work so I could spend more time with my son. And I'm very grateful for that. Look, you'll be able to meet him tomorrow before you leave. You will see him then. I promise." He added.

"Thank you, sir." Her brown eyes met his and Roy was taken aback at just how grateful she looked.

 _Have I been_ too _professional with her? Have I neglected our friendship?_ He tried not to think about that.

"Thank you, sir, for the hospitality. Tell your wife I said thank you, too. I'm going to bed. I don't want to keep you up."

Roy wanted to say something, but couldn't. He thought of his wife and kid again. After Hawkeye left, he cleaned up and then went upstairs to bed. He stripped down to his boxers and joined Amy in bed, careful not to wake her. _Its almost over._ He told himself, closing his eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

**I should add that this is a Christmas story.**

 **...**

An image soon came to Roy in his half-asleep state. He had decided Hawkeye was wearing a corset and she wore it and her panties in their reflective-like red color. She laid on the guest bed on her back, with her back arched sexually. He imagined she was waiting for him to come and unwrap her like a gift. It was a perfect December month image. Roy's eyes shot open and he rubbed a hand across his slightly damp face. He then became aware of how hard he was. He sighed. He thought briefly of waking Amy, but no. He didn't want her. He wanted Hawkeye. _No._ He told himself and started to push back the covers to get out of bed. In doing this though, he inadvertently woke Amy.

"Roy?" Her hand reached over and grabbed his chest. "Hm. You feel so warm. Are you okay?"

Before he could grumble that he was going to the bathroom, she flicked on the bedside light. Amy's look became smug. "Still thinking about how the night could've gone had it not been for our guest?" She grabbed the sheets and put them back over him. "Don't think you can escape and please only yourself. Now come here..." Amy came over to him though as she spoke, climbing on top of him. She kissed him passionately.

...

Roy quietly slipped out of bed. Amy was fast asleep, deeply satisfied. He grabbed a fresh pair of boxers and slipped them on and put on his robe too. The hour was late, but Roy couldn't sleep. He wished he hadn't woken Amy up earlier and had been able to rub it out instead. He had hated having to please her.

Roy headed downstairs to get a drink from the kitchen. He hadn't had thoughts like this for a long time. The last time had been when he was dating Amy. Roy suddenly stopped on his way to the kitchen and did a double take. In the living room, not far from the couch where he had sat earlier, Hawkeye sat on the floor in front of the bright light of the Christmas tree, huddled under a blanket. Her hair, which she had let grow long, hung loose around her shoulders. Slowly, he walked toward her. _How can one visit from her mess me up so bad?_ He sat down beside her and she jumped a little as if she had been startled out of her thoughts. Roy couldn't help wondering what she had been thinking about.

"What are you doing up?" She asked him.

"I wanted to get a glass of water. What are you doing up?"

Hawkeye looked over at him. "Where is your glass then?"

Roy was thrown off by the question. Of course Hawkeye would notice such a detail. He was too used to getting away with stuff with Amy, he forgot how easily Hawkeye could read him. He had forgot how much she was so unlike Amy. He tore his gaze away from hers and rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, I was going to get something to drink until I saw you here. You should be up in bed resting. If you get sick..."

"Yes, your wife is very grateful for all of the work I do for you. She would be upset if I got sick."

Roy looked back at her. Those terms she kept using around him. Your wife. Mrs. Mustang. He recalled suddenly what it was Amy had said earlier to her. _"Please, call me Amy."_ "You know, you can call her Amy. My wife-" Roy broke off. This didn't feel right. It didn't feel right at all. Telling Hawkeye about his wife, another girl. _Hawkeye_ should be his wife. _No, I made my choice._ Roy told himself. _Its too late now._ Silence stretched between them for a moment. "You still haven't told me why you're up." Roy spoke at last.

Hawkeye let out a breath as if she had been afraid he'd press the issue. "I can't sleep."

He looked at her again and noticed for the first time the air of infinite sadness around her. _How have I missed this before?_ It was obvious now. It made perfect sense. She loved him. And he had broken her heart. Yet despite that, she still loved him. _Have I made the right choice? No, its legal for me to be with Amy._ Was it really worth it though? Just one visit from Hawkeye and the life he had built for himself felt like it was falling into pieces. _Amy is a lot like Hawkeye, I can love her._ Except Amy wasn't Hawkeye and it was not her he loved. It was Hawkeye. _I... I have made the wrong choice._ He thought as he looked at Hawkeye. _But... its too late now._ The silence stretched on until Roy abruptly broke it again. "What was with that outfit you were wearing? Did you plan on coming here wearing that?"

Hawkeye's cheeks turned pink. "Do you really think I deliberately half froze myself to do that?" Roy didn't say anything and Hawkeye knew that it wasn't really what he thought. He was just trying to get an explanation out of her. So she went on. "Its ridiculous. You'll probably think I'm crazy for it, but I did it so I wouldn't go crazy." Hawkeye said and leaned her back against the side of the couch. The blanket she had wrapped around herself parted some to show she still wore the robe. "I- when you married, I decided to pretend you had married me. There's... little things I've done and do to try to help convince myself of this. One of those things is... I will wear things that I imagine you'd want me to wear."

Roy inhaled sharply at this. _She certainly knows me well._ What he had seen her wearing made anything Amy had ever worn pale in comparison. Though, it could have just been because Hawkeye was wearing it. Hawkeye made other women pale in comparison to her. "What... other things do you do?" He asked.

Hawkeye smirked a little, somehow managing to make it look sad. "Well, if you were my husband, you'd know. Wouldn't you?"

Roy reached over to tuck her hair behind her ear. "I could be your husband tonight."

She turned her head away. "No, sir. You can't. You have your wife. You have a son." She said softly, her gaze downcast.

Roy let his hand drop. Of course. It was so typical of her to always keep him on the right track.


	3. Chapter 3

**I should also mention that this is a story I am writing without a co-author for once.**

 **I'd also like to warn my readers that this part gets a little dirty. -Cough cough- If you know what I mean.**

 **...**

Sitting in front of the Christmas tree with Hawkeye, Roy looked down. She was right of course, but she deserved an apology. "Lieutenant, I made a mistake-"

Hawkeye looked at him sharply. "Its a bit late to be realizing that now."

"I know Lieutenant and I'm sorry. I had not wanted to put my career at risk, so I got with Amy. She seemed so much like you... I didn't know I had hurt you. It was never my intention to hurt you."

Her gaze softened at the desperation and genuine sadness in his voice. But she still didn't understand. "Why did you marry her then?"

"I didn't know you loved me. It was something I often wondered about, but never could confirm. I began to think you didn't." Hawkeye sat up straight and grabbed one of his hands, holding it in both of hers. "How could I have shown you, sir? It isn't allowed!" Roy smiled sadly.

"I have to admit, you hid your feelings well."

Hawkeye blinked a few times, holding back tears. "Too well." She whispered.

"I can't replace you, Lieutenant. I see that now. I thought I could love Amy. I thought I did, but I don't." He told her. A tear ran down her face and Roy slipped a hand out of hers and wiped it away. "Please, don't cry Lieutenant." He said softly.

"Its my fault. If only I had found some way to show you before. But its too late now." She said, bowing her head. Roy put his hands on her shoulders.

"Its not your fault, Lieutenant. I know you want to blame someone for all of the pain you've been through, but don't put it on yourself. You haven't done anything. I'm the one who married. I'm the one who broke your heart. I'm the one to blame in all of this."

"Sir, you didn't know-" "Don't make excuses for me, Lieutenant. I made the biggest mistake of my life and you have no idea how much I regret it. I don't know if I can fix this, but I'm sure as hell going to try." Hawkeye lifted her head and opened her mouth to speak, but suddenly found Roy's lips on hers. Her heart fluttered in her chest. His hands slipped up through her hair, holding the back of her head. After a moment, he pulled his lips away from hers. Hawkeye seemed dazed. "What-"

"Consider it a promise." He told her. Their eyes met and slowly, their lips met again. Roy's heart pounded as he felt Hawkeye's body move up against his, her arms wrapping around him. They kissed each other passionately, getting more and more lost in their lust. Roy pulled the blanket off of her and slid his hands down her back. She shivered a little and arched her back, pressing against him. Whether is was out of her need for him or because she was a little cold or both, it didn't really matter to Roy. He was really turned on by it. Still kissing her, he slowly laid her down on the floor. He knelt with her between his knees and hovered above her as they kissed. Until he broke the kiss. Hawkeye gasped as he pulled her robe open. _I want to open my gift early._ He couldn't help thinking as he looked down at her. In one swift movement, he took his own robe off and then bent down to kiss her again.

Panting softly, Hawkeye turned her head away. "You... can't- you shouldn't-"

"Do you really want me to stop Lieutenant?" Roy asked, pausing. She hesitated. He knew why she wanted him to stop. It was because of his family. It would be wrong. It was just as obvious however, that she wanted this as much as him and the only thing making her hesitate was his family. Roy didn't have as good self-control as Hawkeye did though. Not when it came to this. Not when it came to her. He moved his lips to her ear and gave it a gentle kiss. "I need this Lieutenant. I need _you_." He whispered to her as he lowered himself onto her. The bulge in his boxers rubbed against her panties. "But... I can stop-"

"No." Hawkeye moaned and her hands grabbed his ass, squeezing it. "Please." She whispered, spreading her legs. Roy kissed her passionately at this answer. He rubbed up against her a little more firmly as they kissed, then pulled away from her to take off his boxers before turning back to her. He smirked, thinking of the fun he was going to have in undressing her.

...

Roy was spent and from the look of it, Hawkeye was too. He felt sore, but holding Hawkeye in his arms made up for the pain. He knew she had to be sore herself, considering the fact that this had been her first time. "This..." Hawkeye suddenly whispered.

"-was one of the best nights of my life." Roy replied. He had a good idea as to what she had been about to say. He knew she would feel guilty afterward, even though he wished she wouldn't. He knew the subject of his family would be brought up again eventually by her. He will find a way to fix his mistakes though.

"But sir-"

"It _can't_ be a mistake." He said firmly, interrupting her. "Because for once in my life, I felt like I did something right." Hawkeye was silent for a moment as if thinking about what he said.

"It was the best night of my life too." She whispered at last and smiled a little, her eyes meeting his. She looked so tired... and so damn pleased that Roy wanted to imprint this look on her face in his memory forever. "I need to return to bed." She said. "Before I fall asleep here." She started to pull away and get up, wincing. Roy didn't want her to go. Not yet. He quickly sat up.

"Lieutenant. You're hurt. Let me carry you to bed." Hawkeye looked at him and a big smile broke over her face. Roy had never seen her like this before and it took him a moment to realize she was holding back a laugh.

"I'm not _that_ sore, sir. I can walk."

Roy blushed a little, embarrassed. _I should've worded that better._ He thought awkwardly. How was he going to get her to agree to it now? She had started collecting her discarded clothes when Roy suddenly knew what to do. He got up and went over to her, then scooped her up into his arms, like a husband would carry his wife after being newly wed. She gasped and found herself looking at his smirking face. "I'm afraid I must insist, Lieutenant." Having dropped her clothes to grab a hold of him, Hawkeye suddenly became very aware of how they were both still naked. He tried to keep his gaze on hers, but it traveled down her naked body as if he couldn't get enough of looking at her. As if he'd never grow tried of looking at her. "Its going to be hard to resist joining you in bed." He said and she blushed, nuzzling her head against his chest as if in an attempt to hide her red cheeks.

"Don't tempt me into convincing you to." She replied. "You'll have to go back and grab my clothes for me too." Hawkeye added.

"Sure, sure."

"Colonel." She said sternly. Roy didn't have to look at her to see the look she must be giving him.

"Okay Lieutenant. I will." He promised. Roy carried her up to the guest room and laid her on the bed. Before he could grab the covers, Hawkeye had a hold of them and pulled them over herself, giving a little shiver. "You know, its behavior like that that will convince me to stay with you." He teased. Roy knew she would make him go back to bed with Amy no matter what.

"My clothes, sir." Hawkeye mumbled sleepily.

"Of course, Lieutenant." Roy went down and picked them up, pausing at the lingerie. He ran a hand across the fabric. It had a feel like gift wrap on the outside, but on the inside it was soft. _The perfect time for this too, considering that tomorrow it will be Christmas Eve._ She really did know him so well. Roy put his own clothes back on and headed back upstairs. He expected Hawkeye to be fast asleep, but she was awake, waiting for him. He took the clothes over to her and set them on the bed and then placed the blanket over her, so she had more warmth. Her hand grabbed his before he moved away.

"Sir." She said and tugged on his hand. Roy got the message and bent over so his face was by hers. "Thank you." She whispered and kissed him gently, before letting his hand go and moving away. "You should go to your bed. Remember your promise." She added, saying the last in such a way as if she was afraid he would forget, though they both knew he wouldn't.

"Don't worry Lieutenant. I'll find a way." He told her and left the room.


End file.
